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Tuesday, May 27, 2008
and more intriguing still is,
why do i think you are the answer to all of these questions?
Posted at 10:35:10 pm by dinoxjo
Why am I so positive that you were and are the only person who was always there, when for so long I couldn't even look you in the eye. Why is it that every time I see you or hear your name, I want to know. Everything. Then and there. I have to. Why has your life captivated my attention in ways my own could not. Why? Why do I need you here so much, when I've been without you for so long. And why do I feel the need and want of your presence, when there is nothing more than friendship here. Nor do I want anything more.
Why are you such a mystery?
And why do I feel the sudden urge to be a detective.
Posted at 9:53:38 pm by dinoxjo
The Perks of Being a Wallflower and Me.
Charlie doesn't talk, because he is insecure. He fears what others may think of him, and does not want to risk that judgement. So he keeps everything bottled inside. Whether it be his bad memories, his current mood or simply his favorite color. He bottles it up, and takes in what everyone else has to say. He doesn't speak his thoughts in groups, he borrows those of others. He feels alone. He feels insecure. He feels like someone broke something inside of him that can never be fixed. He feels betrayed by the one person whom he ever truly loved. The one person he would cry the rest of his life for.
And then, he meets someone who can fix him. Someone who does fix him. Who gives him closure. Who helps him see why he is so fucked to begin with. Who helps him understand what went wrong, what broke. This person teaches him to enjoy life. To not be so insecure. To take chances! To make mistakes! To do what he thinks is right. To do what he wants to, not what others want him to want to.
He grows, he learns, and he shares. With strangers, with family, with friends.
From the beginning to the end, he is a different person.
Always a wallflower, only blooming in different shades and colors.
And I?
I have yet to bloom any colors.
Posted at 8:34:34 pm by dinoxjo
The Tracey Fragments by Maureen Medved
If there is one great mystery, it is this book.
And yet, I can't seem to put it down.
"I'm happy. Have an amazing life. Now I'm going to scratch my eyes out.
Think I'm funny? I'M AN EMERGENCY -"
In my life, I vow to read this book fifty times over.
If not a hundred.
Posted at 8:25:10 pm by dinoxjo
and she spoke "But he loves them, because they're family and well you just love your family, you know?"
and i thought "Why?"
where does this obligation to automatically love 'strangers' come in? you are born, you grow up, and along the line you are introduced to your relatives and told to love them because they are your family, your blood. but sharing something like blood or dna or wtvr the hell it is we share does not make you love someone one, nor force you to. i know i have grown up with some of these people. and some have become people i truly care about and miss. but why would i cry if a great aunt i've never met died? why would my heart hurt? i may sound cruel and heartless, but i'm sorry, i don't cry. they are strangers to me who happen to be a part of my "family". i've never met you, yet here you are giving me the double kiss expecting me to welcome you with open arms and share all my secrets. i see you once a year, if lucky twice. how could i have formed a bound with you deeper than the surface? i know the way you walk and talk, i don't know anything beyond that. you like cake, who doesn't? i could write a longer book on my english teacher from grade seven and eight. i don't know how you think, how you process, what you've been through. and truthfully, that's partly my fault, partly yours, mostly my parents'.
but i suppose, i'm the one who is left to fix it.
and i suppose, i never will.
and then we look bad, because we're not crying at the others funeral.
Posted at 8:19:48 pm by dinoxjo
Monday, May 26, 2008
Today's person: WM, Kamin
Today's thing to look forward to: regionals!
Today's mental note: don't pry, just listen.
Posted at 10:45:53 pm by dinoxjo
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photography site!
NEW JULY UPDATE!
“The past, I think, has helped me appreciate the present - and I don't want to spoil any of it by fretting about the future.”
- Audrey Hepburn
“We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”
- Albert Einstein
“Just because you get distracted by the silver lining, doesn't mean there's not still a huge dark cloud behind it.”
- Drums, Girls and Dangerous Pie
Dino Jo is currently feeling
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